some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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