what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize