Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize