i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
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professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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