Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize