Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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