I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize