hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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