so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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