I want to walk on stilts...naked
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize