I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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