K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
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