Dual....:-)
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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