Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize