Sponge bath it is.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
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They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
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btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize