I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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