like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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