EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
the raccoons are back...
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