i just sent this text using only my big toe
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize