And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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