I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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