just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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