Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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