i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Randomize