so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize