I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
So vagazzling was a success
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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