dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize