Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize