Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
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Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
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The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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