I can tuck mytits in my pants
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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