i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize