Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
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He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
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There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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