the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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