I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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