When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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