Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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