hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
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I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
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Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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