he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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