Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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