drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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