Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize