I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
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