Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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