Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize