Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize