I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize