So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
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he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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