Can Purell be used as lube?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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