I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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