i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize